so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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