He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize