TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have post one night stand depression
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
