Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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