I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
