were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
