onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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