Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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