I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children