i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
