Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
