My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
