Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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