Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have post one night stand depression
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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