Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
