You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
