Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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