Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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