Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
