I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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