I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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