god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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