Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
