I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
