sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
