we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
