I don't think brook has ever known best
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Are we still banned from the library?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize