Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
