Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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