Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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