he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
