The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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