She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
