Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
