I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
