i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
