I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize