you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
