I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize