We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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