he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
