Do you still have your period?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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