I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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