In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
