I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
