So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I pour the whiskey from now on
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
