I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
