I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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