I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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