I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
