some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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