Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
