"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
