I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
