There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
