My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize