he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
