She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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