I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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