tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
sex in a hospital.. check
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
