I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
