I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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