can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
