If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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