I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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